“Did God Give My Child Diabetes To Punish Me?”

19 January, 2008 · Filed under By Kate, Diahysteria, From Parent to Parent · Tagged emotional suffering, grief, how diabetes diagnosis affects parents, Search engine words about diabetes

I check my blog stats everyday, just to see how things are going, and if any post in particular has received attention so that I can discover what people want to know about..

I have a browse through some of my fave D blogs on my Bloglist, and I am often overwhelmed when a Mum in another continent is sharing my feelings at the exact same time, or inspired when a young woman around my age is investing every spare ounce of time and energy to keep her Diabetes on track. It gives me hope for my son’s future, knowing that people are living and surviving with this condition.

Yesterday, I visited  Penny‘s and Kerri’s websites. They were both having a light hearted guffaw about some of the more unusual word combinations that are typed into search engines, and in a bizarre twist, end up at their sites, often having no significance to Diabetes whatsoever. 

They also expressed their extreme sorrow when people are clearly looking for advice or help in relation to Diabetes. It’s a horrible feeling knowing that someone, somewhere in the world might be totally alone, grieving over their child’s diagnosis. Or when you can sense desperation in just a few disconnected words,”Will pancreas ever work again? Can I live without pancreas?” 

I get some hilarious entries, but I also get a lot of searches about children just diagnosed with Diabetes.

This morning, I found the most heartwrenching words.

“Did God give my child Diabetes to punish me?”

I sat, frozen, staring at the computer screen, re-reading those words making sure that they actually meant what I thought they did.

It broke my heart to know that someone was hurting enough to think that they might find a word match that related to the most devastating sentence I have read in regards to Diabetes.

I even checked my emails in the hope that the owner of those words may have left something, but nothing.

I guess I just wanted to leave this message for you. In the case that you do happen to return my site, or you visit Penny or Kerri (just click on their highlighted names above,) or anyone on my Blogroll-there’s a wealth of knowledge and experience there- I implore of you to leave your email details, so that we can share our stories with you. I can assure you that we have all been furious that Diabetes has shown up on our doorstep and menaced with our children,leaving them terriblly ill and putting their lives in danger,and that consuming grief can linger for quite sometime.  However,it is definitely possible to make peace with Diabetes. Every endocrinologist in the world will tell you that there was nothing anyone could do to prevent the diagnosis. Diabetes does not discriminate, it sends shockwaves through all walks of life.

I need you to know that you are definitely not alone; there are so many incredible and strong parents in the Type 1 Community that will openly share their despair and pain, and you will be inspired by people who have been diagnosed for most of their lives, yet have achieved so much, even with Diabetes constantly nipping at their heels.

I am going to title this post with the same words that you used to find me, in the hope that you will return. You can be assured that any correspondence will remain highly confidential.

Kate.